Three years ago, you changed my whole world. You turned us into a family. I held you up to my chest, and I cried and laughed and grasped your Daddy's hand, and loved you immensely and immediately. Your Mimi asked me if I was ok that day because I was crying, and I said, "I'm just so happy!" Sweet boy, I am still just so happy...you make me so happy.
You have taught me so much in three years. How to think about things like putting your cup on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator so you can reach it yourself; how to put everything aside and enjoy the "now," because we won't get those moments back. You've taught me the most true and tangible version of unconditional love. You have given me grace, too many times, much more than I deserve. You have taught me how to be a momma, and what it means to be a momma. Three years later, I have an infinite number of things I could have done better or that I need to do better, but you don't mind. You still love me more than just about anything.
Yesterday, on your birthday, I held you so close and told you how much I love you. I told you I was so happy that it was your birthday, but that I was sad that you have to grow up so fast. You said, in the sweetest little voice, "Mommy, I don't want you to be sad, I don't want you to cry!" It was so hard to hear you say that and not just let the tears roll. You are so so sweet and loving. I hope you always love as hard and strong as you do now.
I can't believe you are THREE! You are such a big boy now. You tell me what you want to eat when you are hungry and that you are sleepy when it's bed time. You run and laugh, you change your own shirt, and sometimes you put on your own shoes (but they are usually on the wrong feet). I love teaching you new things and watching you learn to do things on your own, bud, and you are so smart.
We snuggled up on the couch last night, just me and you, and talked. It was so wonderful. I love talking to you and hearing how you see the world around you. We talked about birthdays and what that means. I asked if you had a good birthday, and you said you love birthdays and "they are yummy!" I laughed, and you asked me what was so funny. You are quite a funny little kid...we are all constantly laughing at you.
Your favorite things right now? Your hat, bulldozers, trains, baseball (you say you are going to be a baseball player when your grow "big and tall"), your aunts and uncles, and playing in the sandbox as much as possible. You love macaroni and cheese, burgers, and beans. You still say that chocolate makes it better when you are sad. You love cereal and oatmeal in the mornings, and Chick-fil-a or Mexican when we eat out. You love to introduce everyone when we go places. Your brother is probably your favorite person, and the joy you have every morning when you see him is like nothing I have ever seen.
I love your voice and the way your country twang makes everything sound better. I love the way your whole face lights up when you grin your chipped tooth grin. I love that your fingernails and face are always dirty, no matter what, and that you talk about yourself in the third person. I love that you hold my face with both your hands and look me right in the eye when you have something important to tell me. Boy...I love everything about you.
Little love, thank you for being all that you are. You are my favorite big boy, and I will always always love you no matter what. I hope you don't get tired of holding my hand and telling me all your stories anytime soon.
I love you to the moon and back!