Jake Kilby: 6 Months Old

Six months and one week with you, sweet little soul. We don't know how big you are because you haven't been to your 6 month check up and won't for another month, but I can tell you that you are growing too fast for your momma. You are perfectly average in size, it seems. You babble constantly and smile at us, and you kick your feet in excitement when someone heads toward you. We are pretty sure you say "mama" and "dada" with intention, but only when you feel like it.

My baby, the one that requires all my attention, reaching even for the hand that doesn't hold you as you nurse, begging me to notice your dimples on your knuckles and your big blue eyes looking up at me with a joy I can't explain how I see. You press into me, into the warmth. But even as much as you need me, you are so independent. The only baby we have had to actually fall asleep without being nursed down. Still yet as you comfort yourself by sucking those little fingers, I hold you because I know how fleeting these moments are, and you reach up and touch my face. Comforting yourself, but still needing your momma, and it is heavenly. 

Your birth and your life has given me gifts that I never imagined. Your birth showed me how strong I am, that I could labor and birth you without pain medication, with prayer and meditation, a hot bath, encouraging words and your daddy's hand in mine as my only comfort. Knowing how elated I would be to just hold you. And then there came a point where I thought I couldn't. But where I couldn't, He could. And He did. You were placed in my arms and I shook from exhaustion and adrenaline, and I felt the weight of the world but yet so much peace in knowing you were here, with us. 

There's a Bethel Music song that I love that says "You make me brave. No fear can hinder now the love has made a way." That's it, baby boy. And what a gift He gave to me through you. 

I love you so much.